Cafe conversation

It's early morning in Cebu.

I'm inside an internet cafe having my usual cup of capuccino in front of a computer.

While others hit the gym, I prefer to plop onto one of the comfy seats of my favorite hang-out at the basement of a mall.

Eating is one of my favorite activities, second is surfing the Net and third is reading in bed. In this internet cafe, I can do the first two. So it's not difficult to understand why my heart jigs at the mention of this place.

I usually start my weekend with a full breakfast while leisurely reading the newspaper.

But today, I've decided to modify my routine. The weather outside is perfect; there're just a few regulars today so I'm not niggled by much noise.

So, I thought.

A few minutes later, two frazzled women noisily came in, plunked their things on a table and sat a seat away from me --- totally oblivous to my existence (I have this knack of blending with the walls and coffee tables).

They obviously had a lot to discuss with each other.

One female, who reminded me of an overgrown, flamboyant tarsier (smallest primate in the world) with her large, bulbous eyes highlighted by charcoal powder, hurriedly ordered coffee and salad; the other, a mousy & more decorous lady, ordered milk.

Ms. Tarsier apparently didn't want to waste much time and started the conversation by bawling while I was half-way drinking my coffee, making me ingest more than a mouthful and spilling some of the dark liquid on my t-shirt.

Talking like a machine-gun out of control, she narrated in between sniffles her many misfortunes: how her boyfriend (who happens to be married) left her for another guy, how he got away with her money and her credit cards, how her parents have disowned her, how her siblings are envious of her looks and intelligence, how her officemates are ganging up on her, how her boss fired her, how she can't get a loan, how she can't help attracting the wrong men etc.

Anyone sitting at the back of the room could have heard her rattling. She was that loud.

By the time she was done, I was exhausted listening. Can one person possibly have that many problems ? Or have I fallen inadvertently in a Filipino TV drama shoot ?

The mousy lady with her managed not to lose her composure. She was calm yet concerned. It seems she had been through the same scenario. It appears to me that Ms. Mouse is a regular dumping ground for Ms. Tarsier's troubles.

"What should I do?! Everyone seems to have deserted me!", Ms. Tarsier wailed in between mouthfuls of her salad.

"That's because you've been going to them with the same problems. You never followed their advice. You never listened to anyone, not even me.", Ms. Mouse responded with considerable restraint.

"You mean to say there is no longer a solution to all these?", countered Ms. Tarsier in a panicky voice.

Ms. Mouse didn't answer and instead slowly sipped her milk, probably pondering on how she ever got herself into this human quicksand.

By this time, I had already thanked the heavens I wasn't within the line of fire. Still, I would have wanted to butt-in on their conversation to resolve everything and get back to the peace that was in this cafe.

"Have you thought of obliterating yourself from the face of this earth?", I replied in mind. "And save everyone from further trouble of being burdened by you."

Nope, not a wise answer. Moralists would surely gang up on me.

I gave her my stack of table napkins; hers were crumpled to a wet ball.

Suddenly, Ms. Tarsier had an enlightened moment.

Dabbing her eyes with the napkins, she thanked me profusely and apologized for disturbing everyone.

In minutes, without having to be told, she stood up and, in studied equanimity, suggested to her companion for them to leave.

So Ms. Tarsier and Ms. Mouse left as conspicuously as they came.